26 May 2013
This writing is meant for parents who dream about making almost all their children DOCTORS.
I belonged to a middle-class family. My parents never forced me to become a doctor but it was my inherent wish to become so and to serve people. Being a girl, with hardly any extra-curricular activities, it was easy for me to be locked up in my room and study with the result that I got a scholarship in Matric (O Level) and F. Sc (A Level) and got admission into the only all-women medical college on merit and with a scholarship. Obviously, I was expected to do well.
When I looked around at my class of 300 girls, most of them were there to comply to their parent’s wishes so they could find grooms from good families and could settle well in life; only a few were really motivated and inspired to become good doctors. After graduating, I went abroad, did fellowship and received an excellent post-fellowship surgical training. After 18 years of working abroad, I came back home and met my classmates at an annual reunion. I was not surprised to learn that only 40 of them were working and only 12 had done post-graduation in different faculties of medicine. The remaining were happily-married house wives.
Life of a female doctor is not easy. When she is studying at the medical college, she has no time for family, relatives, family gatherings, festivities; either there are exams or projects to complete. Hence none of the family is really happy with her. Most doctors graduate at the age of 24-25 years after which one years’ internship is mandatory. This is the prime time that a girl should be married and settled. Now starts the real test in life. This young female doctor has two choices: either give up her career, make a good house wife, keep her husband and in-laws and happy and give them grand-children. This makes all the people in her life happy.
But what about her??? Did she strive so hard all her student life to just give up her career to make everyone else happy. If she had been a high achiever; could she now give it all up. This is a very difficult decision and a very hard choice. If she decides to go ahead with her career aspirations and do post-graduation, she must remember that she is opting for a very tough life for herself.
Since her biological clock starts ticking by the time she graduates, she ought to be married and have at least one kid. Then she has to start working towards her post-graduation which demands at least 3-4 years of training in a teaching hospital and then passing two-three exams. Along with this, in our culture, it is a woman’s responsibility regarding the children, their care, up-bringing; then house-keeping, looking after the husband, in-laws, relatives,. Hence she has to full-fill the roles of a wife, mother, daughter-in-law, house-maker and in addition a DOCTOR and a POST-GRADUATE TRAINEE.
Hence, I don’t think my classmates made a wrong choice when they settled to make good house-wives unlike a few of us, who had to wear so many hats all the time, work so hard and even then, they fail to make everyone around them happy.
I OFTEN WONDR WHO MADE A BETTER CHOICE, ME OR THEM………………………………